Saints Behaving Badly...

Even the birds know he's a saint!

When I was a little girl, I attended my catechism religiously.  Since I was born after Vatican II, Catholic saints took a back seat to other practices, but I still found myself learning about St. Patrick who brought Christianity to Ireland, St. Francis who gave everything he had to the poor and the Virgin Mary who willingly gave birth to God's son.

The purpose of saints, I was taught, was to show Catholics that anyone could live a life of faith.  Unlike Jesus, who was divine, saints were human and subject to the same human flaws we all have.  If they could give everything to the poor and remain faithful when persecuted for their faith, we should be able to as well.  This seemed logical when I was ten, but as I grew older, the more inadequate saints made me feel.

Take the example of St. Francis, who was born into a wealthy family and gave up everything to live like a poor man.  He started the Franciscan order and gained the attention of the future St. Claire, founder of the poor Claire's.  St. Francis and his friars preached the gospel to the common people and sinners of their day.  Unlike other monastic houses of the time, the Franciscans didn't rely on the sale of crops or donations to support their community.  They begged for their bread and relied on God's providence wherever they went.

St. Francis' life was commendable, but how could a person like me ever live up to that standard?  I'm materialistic, like good food, am sickly and while I'm generous with my money, I could never give it all away.  Until college I never felt that being saintly was an option, because the bar had been set to high.

"Theresa, I would like to introduce you to my friend St. Augustine."~quote from my college professor

That's until I met St. Augustine.  Before taking a Medieval history class, I had never heard of the man before, but instantly took a strong interest in him.  Born during the waning years of the Roman Empire, Augustine was born in present day Tunisia.  While his mother St. Monica was a devote Christian, his father was a pagan.  For much of his youth, Augustine had a typical Roman upbringing.  He studied Latin, philosophy and rhetoric, went to the bath houses, picked up women and even had a mistress and illegitimate child.  Now, how's that for saintly behavior?  While St. Augustine eventually converted and lived a more pious life, this shows that saints began just like us.

Unsaintly behavior, however, can occur at any point in a saint's life, as demonstrated in my previous post, "Behave or Santa Will Slap You?"  St. Nicholas was the bishop of Myra and attend the famous Council of Nicaea.  Ordered by the first Christian Emperor Constantine, the consul was to settle the doctrinal disputes of the day and create a uniform Christian creed.  A man named Arius promoted the belief that Jesus wasn't God, which enraged good old St. Nick.  Out of a fit of passion, St. Nicholas slapped Arius (very unsaintly behavior) and was removed from the council by Emperor Constantine.

"I want to suck...the puss from that wound."~pretend quote from Catherine of Sienna

Not only did saints behave poorly, some even had mental problems.  Catherine of Sienna, born in 1347 in Italy, advised kings and popes, cared for the sick and ate the lice and sucked the pus from leapers.  Yea...that last part is a little weird.  Obviously Catherine didn't suffer from an obsessive-compulsive disorder, but something much more troubling.  What ever her illness, the Medieval world viewed it as another aspect of her saintliness.

Much like other historical figures, such as Anne Boleyn, Mary, Queen of Scots and the Puritans, saints were multidimensional people showing great devotion to God and the poor, but quick to sin like the rest of us.  Knowing that saints had violent tempers, sexual desires and metal illnesses makes them more real and accessible.  It seems to me, that some of the greatest sinners, make the best saints.

What About Jasper?

Jasper Tudor

I like Jasper Tudor.  He was the uncle of the Henry VII, son of Catherine Valois and Owen Tudor, an able warrior and brilliant strategist.  His political prow less and military experience helped his nephew become king, end the War of the Roses and start the Tudor dynasty.  These are ample reasons to respect him, but I'm not fond of him for these reasons.  It may sound absurd, even irrational, but I like his name!

Not that Jasper is a particular good name, but the fact that it isn't common in history makes it sound more agreeable to my ears.  History is full of Henries, Georges, Elizabeths and Catherines, which makes keeping track of who's who even more daunting.  Henry VIII married three Catherines and two Annes.  George is the name of several English kings, a President and someone else I can't think of right now.  As for the name Henry, don't get me started.  Countless English, French, German and Holy Roman Emperors were named Henry. 

One of the many Henries throughout history.

Getting confused with all the Henries, Georges, Catherines and Elizabeths in history is hard enough for historians, but for lay people it's even more confusing.  Was it Henry VI or V that won the Battle of Agincourt, or who was the first King George that could speak English?  When I taught a history class years back at a local community college, I often had to pause briefly to make sure I was attaching the right number to the king's name.  If I had problems at times, no wonder my students couldn't keep track of who was who.

So I ask all mothers and fathers out there, who plan on placing their children in the history books:  Please, please, please, give your child a unique name like Jasper.  It would make the world much easier and history less confusing if you did.

What Do President Kennedy, Queen Elizabeth and Mary, Queen of Scots Have in Common?

My hubby and I need one of these.  Feed the starving writer!

We don't have a dishwasher.  We live in an older home with a small kitchen, so there isn't room for one.  Therefore, dish washing time is when my husband and I discuss daily matters.  We talk about dinner, work, our son, but usually we get into heated debates about politics, religion or history.

Yesterday, my husband informed me that while he hadn't read my post yet, he didn't like it.  Apparently he had seen my title "My Favorite Ghost Story, The 1960 Presidential Election," and decided that I was perpetuating Republican propaganda against the Democratic party.  Yes, these were big words.  He uses them a lot and my son and I just stare blankly at him.  I told him to leave a comment on my blog, which he did.  However, he insisted that I hear his argument in person.

While my son was banging on pots and pans and opening the honey container, hubby and I were in an intense, flirtatious debate about political propaganda.  This isn't the first time we have debated about historical topics.  Our most famous argument has to be the Queen Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots debate of 2006.  We were still dating at the time and began talking about the two queens.  I stated that Queen Elizabeth was my favorite.  She was a survivor, had guts, political savvy and most importantly, didn't use violence unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Mary started it!"

"What," my husband said in his half astonished/half irritated tone, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."  Of course my husband didn't say blah, blah, blah, but that's what it sounded like to me.  This argument between us lasted for days until we finally agreed to disagree.  After all, he was kinda cute and I enjoyed having him around.

While my husband and I have our quirks, we aren't the only ones who like a good historical debate.  Last week at the http://www.elizabethfiles.com/, a heated debate occurred between supporters of Elizabeth I Mary, Queen of Scots.  They were contemporaries and cousins.  Elizabeth I being the daughter of Henry VIII and the infamous Anne Boleyn and Mary the granddaughter of Margaret Tudor, Henry VIII's sister.  While many viewed Elizabeth as being illegitimate and Mary the rightful heir to the English throne, Elizabeth was still crowned queen.  Assassination plots in Elizabeth's early reign were common and Mary was implicated in one of them.  Eventually, Mary, Queen of Scots, is arrested and reluctantly beheaded by Elizabeth.

While the event occurred over 400 years ago, the debate at the http://www.elizabethfiles.com/ was ugly.  The words whore, martyr, illegitimate and rightful heir were thrown around.  Some called Mary stupid, others called Elizabeth cruel.  Just like the presidential election of 1960, the rivalry between the two queens still causes intense emotions to this day.  This is why history is used for propaganda.  Immediately, a person, event or idea stirs up the desired emotions and feelings the person propagandizing wants you to feel.  History is a powerful tool, use it carefully.

You might also like:
My Favorite Ghost Story, The 1960 Presidential Election
Move Over Xena: Queen Isabella Was a True Warrior Princess!
Beware of the Primaries: Not Primary Elections, But Historical Sources

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Don't Let Your Children Dress Like Hobos!

My parents never spent money on Halloween costumes.  Instead of the nice, shiny princess or star wars costumes from the store, the three of us "creatively" wore whatever was handy.  For three years in a row, long after they didn't fit, we wore hand sewn clown costumes.  Never mind that I was terrified of clowns or by the third year, I had grown so much that it looked like I was preparing for a flood.  I can still feel my ankles quiver.

That costume, however, was nice compared to others I have worn.  One year I was a robot and the costume was purchased at a garage sale.  Don't get me wrong, I love garage sales, but my mother didn't bother checking if the costume was still intact. As I was trick or treating, nuts and bolts began falling off.  I looked like a walking trash heap, instead of a robot.  sigh

I know what you are thinking, those costumes were pretty bad.  How could it get any worse?  While I could blame the other failures on frugality or lack of creativity, but it has taken years of therapy to forgive my parents for the next one.  I told my parents I wanted to be a princess.  I wanted a store bought costume and I was tired of being made fun of on Halloween night.  Hoping this would get me a beautiful store bought costume, I was looking forward to Halloween.  I should have know better when my mother came home with pink hair dye and a sparkly hat.  (The story gets worse)

I wasn't a princess that year, or any year for that matter.  My parent's sprayed a little pink dye in my hair, put on the sparkly hat and made me wear one of my father's old, smelly, flannel rag (I mean shirt) for trick or treating.  Apparently, I was suppose to be a "punk rocker."  I know, every eight year old's dream right?

While it was obvious to my parents that I was a "punk rocker," the rest of the neighborhood (both children and adults) kept asking me if I was either a hobo or wino.  Why any adult would think that a parent would purposely dress their child as a wino is beyond me?  But there I was, an eight year old who looked like a cross between a white, female, eight year old version of the rapper "Flavor Flav" and a druggie looking for her next hit.  The worse part was, I had no idea what a wino or hobo was.

Why am I telling you this?  I don't want you to make the same mistakes my parents did.  I have done the thinking for you.  There is no reason to be mistaken for a wino, instead you can dress as an historical figure going as another famous person.  While it may confuse people and you won't win any awards, at least you won't be mistaken for a drug addict.

  













Thomas Jefferson wasn't a big fan of kings, just read the "Declaration of Independence."  However, he would make a dashing Charles II at any Halloween party.  Both Jefferson and Charles had plenty of illegitimate children.  To pull this off, you must have a powdered wig and a copy of the "Declaration of Independence."

                                                 













Think how you'll stand out as the lovely Anne Boleyn dressed as Hillary Clinton.  They were both ambitious women:  Anne became queen and Hillary was basically president.  Some of Anne's biographers claimed she had a sixth finger, so don't forget to add an extra one to your hand.

      












Remember the good old days when singers dressed up.  Well Henry VIII, dressed as one of Herman's Hermits will make any girl swoon.  Break out the karaoke machine, Henry just might sing "I'm Henry the VIII, I AM!" 

    







Don't worry I didn't forget the kids.  Imagine your neighbor's delight when they see your little dolphin dressed as the Dauphin of France.  Before Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette got their heads cut off, the heir to the throne was called the dauphin.  Granted women were never allowed to inherit the throne, but this is the 21st century!

Hopefully I have given you some wonderful ideas for Halloween costumes.  Remember:  Friends don't let friends dress like winos!

For the Anne Boleyn Obsessed

My posts about Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII have been my most popular so far.  It should come as no surprise, since I have stumbled upon many blogs devoted solely to one of them.  Anne and Henry were the perfect storm of passion, stubbornness and hormones.  Their marriage and courtship were destined to have fireworks, fights and fiascoes. 

I have found a blog, "The Anne Boleyn Files," devoted to everything Anne.  She is even attempting to write a book on her early life, which is no easy task.  If my posts on Anne don't satisfy your appetite, feel free to check out her blog at http://www.theanneboleynfiles.com/.

Tomorrow, in honor of Columbus Day, I will post about Christopher Columbus.  Happy Reading 

Who's Your Daddy?

No, this post isn't about the Moray Povich show, or about a woman who sleeps with like 20 men and can't figure out who the father is.  Then goes on national television accusing every man she's slept with for fathering her child.. Moray isn't the only one fascinated by paternity mysteries.  We all want to know who the father is.

When I was in college, I was surprised to learn that if a child's mother isn't Jewish and the father is, he or she is treated as a gentile and must go through the conversion process.  In other words, a person is ethnically and religiously a Jew if their mother is, not the father.  I was surprised to learn this, since women have been oppressed.  Seeing the shock in my face, my professor told the story of when he witnessed a child being born.  He spared no detail, the blood, fecal material, the screams of pain, nothing.  Wanting to faint, I remember him saying that after that moment he never doubted that she was that child's mother.  

After I recovered from my story induced nausea, I began thinking about that last comment.  You see, women are always 100% positive that their child is the fruit of their loins.  Men, however, may never know they have a child or be 100% certain that the child belongs to him.  Even with modern DNA testing, I know many husbands (mine included) that nervously joke about the mailman fathering their children.

Paternity mysteries are very common in history.  Politicians, kings, emperors, rich and important men all seem to have paternity problems.  Thomas Jefferson, Charles II (he had at least 19 bastards), Henry II and countless others have lingering paternity questions.  Plentiful women, forced marriages, lust, vanity and alcohol have all contributed to this common problem.

My boyfriend Henry VIII (see previous post) is no stranger to paternity mysteries.  Henry is known to have at least one illegitimate child, Henry Fitzroy, Duke of Richmond, son of Elizabeth Blount, a lady-in-waiting for Queen Catherine of Aragon. Henry Fizroy, who reportedly looked exactly like his father, died young without an heir.

Henry VIII was king for a long time, had plenty of sex and mistresses, so he may have had more illegitimate children.  Mary Boleyn, Anne Boleyn's sister, was Henry VIII's mistress before he met Anne.  At the time, Mary was married to William Carey, a gentleman of the privy chamber.  According to Genealogy Magazine and countless historians, Mary Boleyn bore two children while she was the king's mistress:  Henry and Catherine.

In the world of popular history, there are always paternity rumors.  Some are obviously false, while others have some merit.  It is likely that Mary's two children were fathered by the king, not her husband.  William Carey was known to be impotent and with no Viagra he was unlikely to have fathered children.  Henry VIII never shared his mistresses like the king of France and was the only one sleeping with Mary during this period. There is even more evidence of his paternity, including the preferential treatment given to Henry and Catherine by Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth, which can be found at http://www.genealogymagazine.com/boleyn.html.  

Even with modern science, we are still fascinated with paternity rumors.  Johnathan Edwards (the politician not the theologian) is just one example of a powerful man who's paternity story engrossed us all.  Perhaps the only thing that has changed is that men who father children out of wedlock, regardless of station, have to financially support their children.  No longer are they nameless bastards longing for a connection.

Concubine, Saint, Whore and Martyr: The Changing Image of Anne Boleyn

Anne Boleyn

Anne Boleyn, the second wife of the infamous Henry VIII, is the perfect example how a person's image can change with time. Born the third child of Sir Thomas Boleyn and Elizabeth Howard (the daughter of the Duke of Norfolk), she was sent to be a Lady in Waiting to the Archduchess Margaret.  Fate, however, would not leave Anne in Continental Europe, but the education, style and wit she learned helped her land Henry VIII.

"She blinded me with science."

The rest of her story is infamous.  Henry fell madly in love with her, tried to divorce his present wife Catherine of Aragon and when the pope wouldn't grant him a divorce, Henry broke away from the Catholic church and married Anne anyway.  During her life Anne was very unpopular and many, including the Spanish ambassador, would only call her "The Concubine."  After her beheading, she was still considered the king's whore and concubine until the ascension of her daughter Elizabeth to the English throne.  Elizabeth adored her mother and during her reign, Anne became a saint and martyr for the Protestant Reformation.  

Today, Anne Boleyn is Henry's most famous wife and there has been an explosion of books, movies and television programs about the beheaded queen.  Depending on who you read or ask, everyone has a different opinion.  Some believe that Anne was power hungry and would have done anything to become queen, others believe she was simply a victim of her father and Henry.  If I didn't know any better, I would think that we weren't talking about the same person, except historical figures are often portrayed as heroes or villains, saints or sinners.  Just look at George Washington or Thomas Jefferson.  Both owned slaves, had mistresses, and other failings, yet they are considered American saints.  While we may realize the world isn't all black and white people, we fail to allow our historical characters to live in the gray.

In the book, "Anne Boleyn:  Henry VIII's Obsession" by Elizabeth Norton the author allows Anne to live in the gray.  She portrays Anne not as a sinner or saint, but simply as an ambitious woman who sought to better herself.  Today Anne Boleyn may have been a CEO, Congresswoman or trail lawyer, but in the 16th century her options were limited.  I urge all of you to rethink your opinions on someone from history and allow them to live in the gray. No one is absolutely evil or perfect not even our beloved or not so beloved historical figures.