I never got this lucky when I did home improvements.

A Somerset couple found a mural of Henry VIII in their home.

Some people have all the luck.  Several years ago, after my husband and I moved into our 1920's era house, we started to remove the grandma inspired wall paper.  Layer after painful layer, we were exposed to the hideous decorating  choices of our predecessors.  Seriously, when was it ever fashionable to have diarrhea brown and pee yellow striped wall paper?  Who ever thought that this was a good color combination should have been placed in the tower or at least lost their wall paper design job.  It makes you wonder if incontinence was an issue for a previous owner.  Yes... an unsettling thought.

Moving on...After the final layer of wall paper was removed, we saw a beautiful white plaster wall.  If you've ever removed wall paper, you understand that it is truly breathtaking.  Call the art experts, because this is a sight truly to behold.  A bare plaster wall from a 1920's condo, however, doesn't hold a candle to a recently discovered mural of Henry VIII in a private residence.

A couple in Somerset, England were renovating their home and after chipping away layers of wood paneling, discovered a mural painted of Henry VIII sitting upon his throne.  Obviously the couple and art historians are excited by this find saying that the mural is, "enormously significant, stunningly exciting and of national importance"

Yea... why couldn't I have found a mural of President Herbert Hoover or Franklin Roosevelt in my living room?  Think of the resale value that would have added to my home?  Now, instead of an art treasure, I have beige walls and the memory of incontinence inspired wall paper.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-12306904

What Do President Kennedy, Queen Elizabeth and Mary, Queen of Scots Have in Common?

My hubby and I need one of these.  Feed the starving writer!

We don't have a dishwasher.  We live in an older home with a small kitchen, so there isn't room for one.  Therefore, dish washing time is when my husband and I discuss daily matters.  We talk about dinner, work, our son, but usually we get into heated debates about politics, religion or history.

Yesterday, my husband informed me that while he hadn't read my post yet, he didn't like it.  Apparently he had seen my title "My Favorite Ghost Story, The 1960 Presidential Election," and decided that I was perpetuating Republican propaganda against the Democratic party.  Yes, these were big words.  He uses them a lot and my son and I just stare blankly at him.  I told him to leave a comment on my blog, which he did.  However, he insisted that I hear his argument in person.

While my son was banging on pots and pans and opening the honey container, hubby and I were in an intense, flirtatious debate about political propaganda.  This isn't the first time we have debated about historical topics.  Our most famous argument has to be the Queen Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots debate of 2006.  We were still dating at the time and began talking about the two queens.  I stated that Queen Elizabeth was my favorite.  She was a survivor, had guts, political savvy and most importantly, didn't use violence unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Mary started it!"

"What," my husband said in his half astonished/half irritated tone, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."  Of course my husband didn't say blah, blah, blah, but that's what it sounded like to me.  This argument between us lasted for days until we finally agreed to disagree.  After all, he was kinda cute and I enjoyed having him around.

While my husband and I have our quirks, we aren't the only ones who like a good historical debate.  Last week at the http://www.elizabethfiles.com/, a heated debate occurred between supporters of Elizabeth I Mary, Queen of Scots.  They were contemporaries and cousins.  Elizabeth I being the daughter of Henry VIII and the infamous Anne Boleyn and Mary the granddaughter of Margaret Tudor, Henry VIII's sister.  While many viewed Elizabeth as being illegitimate and Mary the rightful heir to the English throne, Elizabeth was still crowned queen.  Assassination plots in Elizabeth's early reign were common and Mary was implicated in one of them.  Eventually, Mary, Queen of Scots, is arrested and reluctantly beheaded by Elizabeth.

While the event occurred over 400 years ago, the debate at the http://www.elizabethfiles.com/ was ugly.  The words whore, martyr, illegitimate and rightful heir were thrown around.  Some called Mary stupid, others called Elizabeth cruel.  Just like the presidential election of 1960, the rivalry between the two queens still causes intense emotions to this day.  This is why history is used for propaganda.  Immediately, a person, event or idea stirs up the desired emotions and feelings the person propagandizing wants you to feel.  History is a powerful tool, use it carefully.

You might also like:
My Favorite Ghost Story, The 1960 Presidential Election
Move Over Xena: Queen Isabella Was a True Warrior Princess!
Beware of the Primaries: Not Primary Elections, But Historical Sources

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Move Over Xena: Queen Isabella Was a True Warrior Princess!

You always dress your finest for battle!

Last night I was reading David Starkey's book, "Six Wives:  The Queens of Henry VIII."  Thinking I knew a lot about Henry's first two wives, Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn, I skipped ahead to read about his third wife Katherine Howard.  Katherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII, was Anne Boleyn's first cousin and a mere teenager when she became queen.  Her teenage antics and eventually beheading, however, didn't enthrall me.  After a while beheadings, adultery accusations and Henry's violent temper no longer entertain, so I began reading about Katherine of Aragon.

I had always pictured Queen Isabella of Spain, Katherine's mother, as a zealous Catholic and a typical woman of her time period.  During her reign with King Ferdinand, the united kingdoms of Castile and Aragon drove the Moors (Muslims) from Spain, sent Christopher Columbus on his infamous voyage and began the Spanish Inquisition.  Being the typical 21st century woman, I figured that her husband was in charge of everything.  Was I ever wrong!

Queen Isabella was a true warrior princess!  After marrying Ferdinand of Aragon, her brother disowned her and she fought a war against her niece for the crown of Castile.  After defeating her niece and sending her to a nunnery (mental note, never mess with Isabella), she turned her attention to the kingdom of Granada to the south.

Granada was the last Moorish stronghold in Spain and Isabella was determined to rid Spain of them forever.  Isabella, however, didn't sit around in her castle, greeting courtiers, looking beautiful and have babies.  She was on the front lines, even when she was nine months pregnant with Katherine.  Only retiring back to her castle after a key Moorish stronghold had fallen.

Remembering my own pregnancy, I can hardly imagine riding into battle with a swollen belly, surging hormones and bad indigestion.  Perhaps it was the acid reflux or the raging hormones that kept her energized on the front lines.  Or maybe she wanted the pomegranates that the Moors grew?  Pregnancy cravings are a vicious thing.  I had to have ice cream mixed with milk.  What ever works, Isabella, what ever works...

Queen Isabella also believed the reconquering of Spain was the perfect time for family bonding.  Katherine, her two sisters and brother, often accompanied their mother to the front lines and spent a large part of their childhoods in military encampments.  This makes my childhood look like a piece of cake.  All I had to wear was a hobo costume, which I still need therapy for.  Katherine, however, had plenty of baggage.

I guess this goes to show, that anyone, anywhere, in any time period can surprise you!  We can never assume we know anyone, even if the facts are staring us in the face.

Don't Let Your Children Dress Like Hobos!

My parents never spent money on Halloween costumes.  Instead of the nice, shiny princess or star wars costumes from the store, the three of us "creatively" wore whatever was handy.  For three years in a row, long after they didn't fit, we wore hand sewn clown costumes.  Never mind that I was terrified of clowns or by the third year, I had grown so much that it looked like I was preparing for a flood.  I can still feel my ankles quiver.

That costume, however, was nice compared to others I have worn.  One year I was a robot and the costume was purchased at a garage sale.  Don't get me wrong, I love garage sales, but my mother didn't bother checking if the costume was still intact. As I was trick or treating, nuts and bolts began falling off.  I looked like a walking trash heap, instead of a robot.  sigh

I know what you are thinking, those costumes were pretty bad.  How could it get any worse?  While I could blame the other failures on frugality or lack of creativity, but it has taken years of therapy to forgive my parents for the next one.  I told my parents I wanted to be a princess.  I wanted a store bought costume and I was tired of being made fun of on Halloween night.  Hoping this would get me a beautiful store bought costume, I was looking forward to Halloween.  I should have know better when my mother came home with pink hair dye and a sparkly hat.  (The story gets worse)

I wasn't a princess that year, or any year for that matter.  My parent's sprayed a little pink dye in my hair, put on the sparkly hat and made me wear one of my father's old, smelly, flannel rag (I mean shirt) for trick or treating.  Apparently, I was suppose to be a "punk rocker."  I know, every eight year old's dream right?

While it was obvious to my parents that I was a "punk rocker," the rest of the neighborhood (both children and adults) kept asking me if I was either a hobo or wino.  Why any adult would think that a parent would purposely dress their child as a wino is beyond me?  But there I was, an eight year old who looked like a cross between a white, female, eight year old version of the rapper "Flavor Flav" and a druggie looking for her next hit.  The worse part was, I had no idea what a wino or hobo was.

Why am I telling you this?  I don't want you to make the same mistakes my parents did.  I have done the thinking for you.  There is no reason to be mistaken for a wino, instead you can dress as an historical figure going as another famous person.  While it may confuse people and you won't win any awards, at least you won't be mistaken for a drug addict.

  













Thomas Jefferson wasn't a big fan of kings, just read the "Declaration of Independence."  However, he would make a dashing Charles II at any Halloween party.  Both Jefferson and Charles had plenty of illegitimate children.  To pull this off, you must have a powdered wig and a copy of the "Declaration of Independence."

                                                 













Think how you'll stand out as the lovely Anne Boleyn dressed as Hillary Clinton.  They were both ambitious women:  Anne became queen and Hillary was basically president.  Some of Anne's biographers claimed she had a sixth finger, so don't forget to add an extra one to your hand.

      












Remember the good old days when singers dressed up.  Well Henry VIII, dressed as one of Herman's Hermits will make any girl swoon.  Break out the karaoke machine, Henry just might sing "I'm Henry the VIII, I AM!" 

    







Don't worry I didn't forget the kids.  Imagine your neighbor's delight when they see your little dolphin dressed as the Dauphin of France.  Before Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette got their heads cut off, the heir to the throne was called the dauphin.  Granted women were never allowed to inherit the throne, but this is the 21st century!

Hopefully I have given you some wonderful ideas for Halloween costumes.  Remember:  Friends don't let friends dress like winos!

For the Anne Boleyn Obsessed

My posts about Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII have been my most popular so far.  It should come as no surprise, since I have stumbled upon many blogs devoted solely to one of them.  Anne and Henry were the perfect storm of passion, stubbornness and hormones.  Their marriage and courtship were destined to have fireworks, fights and fiascoes. 

I have found a blog, "The Anne Boleyn Files," devoted to everything Anne.  She is even attempting to write a book on her early life, which is no easy task.  If my posts on Anne don't satisfy your appetite, feel free to check out her blog at http://www.theanneboleynfiles.com/.

Tomorrow, in honor of Columbus Day, I will post about Christopher Columbus.  Happy Reading 

Who's Your Daddy?

No, this post isn't about the Moray Povich show, or about a woman who sleeps with like 20 men and can't figure out who the father is.  Then goes on national television accusing every man she's slept with for fathering her child.. Moray isn't the only one fascinated by paternity mysteries.  We all want to know who the father is.

When I was in college, I was surprised to learn that if a child's mother isn't Jewish and the father is, he or she is treated as a gentile and must go through the conversion process.  In other words, a person is ethnically and religiously a Jew if their mother is, not the father.  I was surprised to learn this, since women have been oppressed.  Seeing the shock in my face, my professor told the story of when he witnessed a child being born.  He spared no detail, the blood, fecal material, the screams of pain, nothing.  Wanting to faint, I remember him saying that after that moment he never doubted that she was that child's mother.  

After I recovered from my story induced nausea, I began thinking about that last comment.  You see, women are always 100% positive that their child is the fruit of their loins.  Men, however, may never know they have a child or be 100% certain that the child belongs to him.  Even with modern DNA testing, I know many husbands (mine included) that nervously joke about the mailman fathering their children.

Paternity mysteries are very common in history.  Politicians, kings, emperors, rich and important men all seem to have paternity problems.  Thomas Jefferson, Charles II (he had at least 19 bastards), Henry II and countless others have lingering paternity questions.  Plentiful women, forced marriages, lust, vanity and alcohol have all contributed to this common problem.

My boyfriend Henry VIII (see previous post) is no stranger to paternity mysteries.  Henry is known to have at least one illegitimate child, Henry Fitzroy, Duke of Richmond, son of Elizabeth Blount, a lady-in-waiting for Queen Catherine of Aragon. Henry Fizroy, who reportedly looked exactly like his father, died young without an heir.

Henry VIII was king for a long time, had plenty of sex and mistresses, so he may have had more illegitimate children.  Mary Boleyn, Anne Boleyn's sister, was Henry VIII's mistress before he met Anne.  At the time, Mary was married to William Carey, a gentleman of the privy chamber.  According to Genealogy Magazine and countless historians, Mary Boleyn bore two children while she was the king's mistress:  Henry and Catherine.

In the world of popular history, there are always paternity rumors.  Some are obviously false, while others have some merit.  It is likely that Mary's two children were fathered by the king, not her husband.  William Carey was known to be impotent and with no Viagra he was unlikely to have fathered children.  Henry VIII never shared his mistresses like the king of France and was the only one sleeping with Mary during this period. There is even more evidence of his paternity, including the preferential treatment given to Henry and Catherine by Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth, which can be found at http://www.genealogymagazine.com/boleyn.html.  

Even with modern science, we are still fascinated with paternity rumors.  Johnathan Edwards (the politician not the theologian) is just one example of a powerful man who's paternity story engrossed us all.  Perhaps the only thing that has changed is that men who father children out of wedlock, regardless of station, have to financially support their children.  No longer are they nameless bastards longing for a connection.

I've dated Charlemagne, St. John, Henry VIII and John Adams. Yes, I Realize They are Dead.

Before I progress any farther, I must confess something personal.  I have dated many men from history and if you think a long distance relationship is hard, try living in different centuries!  See I just don't study history, I sometimes become so involved with a particular person, it is almost as if we have developed a relationship through time.

First came Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, ancestor of the kings of Europe and ruler of a vast and cultured domain.  Our relationship began innocently enough, as I was researching his involvement in the theological debates of his time.  Before I knew it, sparks had flown and I wistfully spending my Saturday nights with a dead man.  I know this sounds strange.  After all, what could a man who died over thousand years ago and I have in common?  Maybe it was his promotion of arts and learning throughout his empire, or the rumor that he was well endowed, or even the manly way he conquered enemies.  

Whatever the reason, I soon found myself in a most unusual courtship.  He was married, lived over a thousand years ago and a very learned man.  I was a socially awkward college student, who had never seen the lands he conquered.  Nevertheless, I was drawn to him like a jaundice patient to the sun.  In a sense, my desire to understand him, drove my desire to understand myself and to heal the socially awkward person within.

However, good things don't last forever and soon I found myself dating another man.  The apostle, or St. John, became my next boyfriend, as I began research on the canonization of the Bible.  I liked that he was less impulsive than Peter, more trusting than Thomas and seemed to have a gentler spirit than the other apostles.  Being in a relationship with a saint is not easy.  Between the visions of the apocalypse and suffering at the hands of disbelievers, he became to "high maintenance."  I did learn, however, that sometimes you have to suffer for your beliefs and even when you think your fate is sealed, a man named Jesus comes along and changes your life.

After college I stopped dating historical figures for awhile.  They were simply to exhausting, to smart, to devote, or to awesome for me.  I simply felt I wasn't good enough for them.  After all, they had been granted immorality through history books, performed great deeds and changed lives, while all I had done was go from one dead end job to another and was quickly fading into obscurity.

After I got married and had my son Luke, I began to date historical figures secretly.  Most married women secretly fantasize about Brad Pitt or some other godlike person.  I on the other hand, became obsessed with John Adams after reading his biography by David McCullough.  His devotion to his country, freedom and wife were so moving!  Who wouldn't want to date a man like that! 

My relationship with him ended, when I realized how much my husband was like him.  Reserved, intelligent, a lawyer and a devoted family man.  I had actually married one of my historical figures, except he was real and lived in my century!  I, however, didn't learn from that experience and began to date Henry VIII.  Yes, I don't know what was I thinking and I am convinced every women has dated a man like that.  Regardless, I realized that not only did I like having my head attached to my body, but I didn't need to date historical figures anymore.  I have grown into a strong woman, who is following her dreams.  I don't need a man (but I have a wonderful one), approval from others or have what is considered a "respectable" job.  I can now write freely about the world and show others what they have missed when they weren't looking.

Don't Let it Fester Henry. Don't Let it Fester...

Continuing on our theme of Tudor England, I feel it is appropriate to discuss good old Henry VIII.  Oh Henry, where can we possibly begin?  Perhaps we should start with your birth and how you were intended to enter the church.  The infamous Henry VIII was one of three surviving children of Henry VII and Elizabeth of York.  Since Henry was the second son, he received an education fit for a bishop, learning Latin, French and Italian and other church related skills.  Arthur, Henry's older brother however, died of tuberculosis at age fifteen shortly after marring Catherine of Aragon.  This left Henry the heir to the English throne and he began ruling England at the tender age of eighteen.

Henry VIII is a wonderful example of how history is used as a morality play.  We all know that Henry had many wives, mistresses and plenty of sex.  As Henry aged, he began to suffer from open sores, ulcers on the skin and festering wounds.  He began to smell and one of his wives, Anne of Cleves, refused to sleep with him because of the pungent odor and oozing fluid that came out of his sores.  Luckily for Anne of Cleves, the feeling was mutual and Henry quickly had their union annulled.

Henry VIII's sores are often attributed to syphilis.  While historians debate how and when syphilis arrived in Europe, there is no doubt that it began to spread quickly throughout the 16th century.  Since syphilis is spread through sexual contact, it seemed fitting that Henry VIII should die from it.  After all, he was whoring around and for some reason we think that bad things should happen to bad people.  God was simply inflecting His judgment on Henry.

However, we now know that Henry didn't die from syphilis like his contemporary King Francis I of France.  Instead, his unhealed sores, possible impotence and lack of evidence for infections in his wives and mistresses, indicates type II diabetes not syphilis.  So much for Henry being the poster child for STD prevention.

Henry VIII, however, is just one of the many historical figures that are used to propagate good morals.  While STD prevention, sexual responsibility and instilling good morals in our children are important, Henry's death had nothing to do with his sex life.  

Concubine, Saint, Whore and Martyr: The Changing Image of Anne Boleyn

Anne Boleyn

Anne Boleyn, the second wife of the infamous Henry VIII, is the perfect example how a person's image can change with time. Born the third child of Sir Thomas Boleyn and Elizabeth Howard (the daughter of the Duke of Norfolk), she was sent to be a Lady in Waiting to the Archduchess Margaret.  Fate, however, would not leave Anne in Continental Europe, but the education, style and wit she learned helped her land Henry VIII.

"She blinded me with science."

The rest of her story is infamous.  Henry fell madly in love with her, tried to divorce his present wife Catherine of Aragon and when the pope wouldn't grant him a divorce, Henry broke away from the Catholic church and married Anne anyway.  During her life Anne was very unpopular and many, including the Spanish ambassador, would only call her "The Concubine."  After her beheading, she was still considered the king's whore and concubine until the ascension of her daughter Elizabeth to the English throne.  Elizabeth adored her mother and during her reign, Anne became a saint and martyr for the Protestant Reformation.  

Today, Anne Boleyn is Henry's most famous wife and there has been an explosion of books, movies and television programs about the beheaded queen.  Depending on who you read or ask, everyone has a different opinion.  Some believe that Anne was power hungry and would have done anything to become queen, others believe she was simply a victim of her father and Henry.  If I didn't know any better, I would think that we weren't talking about the same person, except historical figures are often portrayed as heroes or villains, saints or sinners.  Just look at George Washington or Thomas Jefferson.  Both owned slaves, had mistresses, and other failings, yet they are considered American saints.  While we may realize the world isn't all black and white people, we fail to allow our historical characters to live in the gray.

In the book, "Anne Boleyn:  Henry VIII's Obsession" by Elizabeth Norton the author allows Anne to live in the gray.  She portrays Anne not as a sinner or saint, but simply as an ambitious woman who sought to better herself.  Today Anne Boleyn may have been a CEO, Congresswoman or trail lawyer, but in the 16th century her options were limited.  I urge all of you to rethink your opinions on someone from history and allow them to live in the gray. No one is absolutely evil or perfect not even our beloved or not so beloved historical figures.